I’m writing today’s newsletter from a Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s quiet. The coffee isn’t half bad. And I’m surrounded by doughnuts. Tomorrow morning, I’m heading to Sofia in Bulgaria and I’m a little nervous. I’ve heard it’s an amazing city. They say the air smells of pastry and the roads are paved with unicorns.
So… what’s been happening?
LEARNING HOW TO LIVE
Without giving too much away… I’ll start by saying that I am seeing somebody.
Her codename is T.
Or Silly Goose.
She’s sweet, she’s amazing, and she’s from Bangladesh.
I’m learning her culture, her food, and I’ve been learning her language, too… kintu ami bhalo Bangla bolte pari na.
To be honest… it hasn’t all been smooth sailing.
To this new relationship, I brought with me:
Bad habits
Old traumas
Some eggs
A bottle of soy sauce
An unhealthy amount of overthinking
I am a true overthinker. I can overthink myself into knots. I can create dramas where there are none. I can make life more difficult than it needs to be.
And a few weeks into this new relationship I found myself complaining. I’d somehow convinced myself that I was doing more than she was. I was putting in more time, more effort. After all, I was learning her language! Right?
This was a ridiculous conclusion and under the slightest scrutiny, my convictions wilted faster than old origami in a hot bath. This habit of mine, this overthinking, it destroys relationships.
I compare. I judge against my own efforts… and because of this… nothing is ever good enough.
Worse than that, my scrutiny leads to the other party feeling like there’s no point trying, because it will never be good enough… which makes me scrutinise even harder… which makes them try less… etc, etc…
The death spiral forms.
But, they say that if you name a demon it gives you power over it and I reckon that’s true.
We’re all plagued by our unconscious incompetencies and our biases, but when we’re made aware of them… the intangible becomes tangible.
Or if you’re a Ghostbusters fan — Gozer becomes the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
Silly Goose reminded me that relationships shouldn’t be transactional. They should be approached with a whole heart.
You give someone your love because you love them, not because you expect love in return.
Whole heart.
That’s how I want to love.
That’s how I want to live.
I don’t want to write projects with some expectation of how successful they’re going to be. I want to pour my love into the work because I love it, not because I expect something in return.
I want to exercise because I like to work out, not with the expectation six-pack abs and a Captain America booty.
I want to treat people kindly because I love people, not because I expect others to treat me any better.
I want to give everything I can to my business, to my family, to my home, to my cat, because I love each and every one of them… whole heart!
…and nothing less.
NEW WORK
I am 35k words into my new book. It’s called The Romantic Life Of Ghosts and it is definitely not related to my recent experiences with dating. Honest.
Beetlejuice meets The Graveyard Book by way of (500) Days Of Summer. After Young Elliot is mowed down by a speeding Ford Fiesta — while on his way to meet the love of his live — he must find romance in the afterlife instead… an ever-nightly realm of broken hearts, yearning beauties, and getting ghosted by literal ghosts. Can Young Elliot let go of the love of his life, and instead find new love in his death?
My bizarre sci-fi horror story all about a 3D Printer gone rogue is now up on The Other Stories — The Artifice.
I’m working on a secret comic book project.
I’ve been sitting in on some recording sessions for my season of Bloody FM’s The Dead audio drama. My series is called Run Rabbit. Coming in April, I think.
Lots of other little projects boiling away in the kitchenette of my mind.
FIVE RECOMMENDATIONS:
Past Lives
All Of Us Strangers — Beautiful and heartbreaking and one scene was the most chilling thing I’ve seen in years.
Dune Part Two
A Wild Swan by Michael Cunningham — A gift from my friend who goes by the name, Absolute Unit. Thank you, Chica.
Poor Things — Emma Stone stabbing that eyeball and giggling ‘squishy squishy’ will stay with me forever.
Days of Lantana by Ben Howard — A beautiful song that I’ve listened to many, many times.
“Curly's a baker's boy
Living for the harvest nights
Turns to me, says something like, ‘The world only turns twice’
Once for the laughter
Once for the memories after
All the rest is just kicking through the weather and fines”
&&&
I’ll be honest…
I don’t like newsletters that ramble, and far too many of them do!
Sorry about that.
But what if I were to tell you…
I’m picturing you right now… and I have to say that you are looking incredible! Have you been working out? Have you been moisturising? Have you been blessed by a passing cosmic space deity? Are you eating your eggs? Are you eating my eggs? Don’t. I need those! Anyway, whatever you’ve been doing… keep doing it!
It’s working.
Until next time,
Luke,
xoxo
Hey Luke, please keep writing your newsletter, they are all awesome. Glad to hear you're doing good, and doing new stuff. Am excited about your The dead podcast episode. Keep on being a rite horror dude